Flower

Wimp

 

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like sports. I don’t care about watching some men run around with a ball trying to make more points than some other men running around with said ball. Why would I care if they win or lose? That’s been my attitude pretty much throughout my life. Maybe after being picked on one too many times in P.E. class I’m a little bitter? Or the fact that all the girls swooned over the “jocks” at my school, never giving me the time of day (they still don’t actually…maybe I need a different strategy? Or maybe I should simply wear pants in public? Hmm). These girls would all lose their virginity to some dude that could catch/throw a ball. BIG DEAL!!! The same guy that, years later, would go bald and gain 400 pounds. If you’re still in school and you’re reading this remember: The most popular girl in your school that makes you wet yourself each time she farts will IN FACT be ugly 5-10 years from now. You laugh when I say this but trust me. Same goes for the guys…”Mr. Cool” that all the ladies love and that gives you wedgies while talking about screwing your mother will gain a thousand pounds and a bald spot you can see from the Space Station. So guys: keep an eye on the “ugly betty’s” in your school…they’ll be knockouts when they go to college. And ladies: keep your pants on when “Mr. Cool” tries to win you over by being the man you’ve always wanted. He may be now but he won’t be later. Anyways…what the fuck was I talking about? OH YEAH…sports!! Like I said, I’ve never been a sports fanatic. But this year I’ve decided to give sports another shot and baseball is the one I’ve chosen. I picked up At Bat (iTunes link) because before the baseball season kicked off, the developer promised in-game audio and they delivered on all accounts. You can choose which announcer to listen to and catch up on all the games you’re missing at work or on the go. I’ve gotta few errands to run so I’ll be listening to the Giants vs Nationals game while flipping off old ladies in traffic this afternoon. Why the Giants? I don’t know shit about them but (as you know) I love San Francisco so that’s the team I’ve chosen to go with. Suck it.

 

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