Syphilis D. Pennington


Being a freshly single bachelor again, I often like to keep myself clean. And by clean, I mean that I like to take showers. And by showers, I mean that there are plenty of shampoos and conditioners that need to come with a warning saying it will burn like hell fire the next time you pee. All the single guys in the house say, “HELL YEAHHH”. You know what I’m talking about.

If you listen to me rant on Twitter, you know that I’m (now impatiently) waiting for Car Jack Streets to arrive. I don’t know necessarily why I’m so eager to get the game…it may or may not suck. Most likely it all goes back to “wanting what you can’t have”. In the mean time, I’m searching for something to help me get my “fix”. And I’ve found the perfect solution, Ignite. Ignite is a platforming game in which you try to get your character (an awesome looking little dude on fire) from one end of the world to the other without falling to your death. But it’s not like Mario, control wise. You have to project your little man from one platform to the other…no D pad or tilt controls here folks. You move your finger and a line (what looks similar to a stream of piss) appears and you then must approximate where you want him to land. Some platforms burn as soon as you hit which makes some levels very challenging. Though frustratingly difficult at times, the need to “play one more level” constantly whispers in your ear. It’s one helluva game and I highly recommend you pick it up. I’m already anxious to play it again just talking about it…after a quick shower ;)


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