Flower

What About Love?

 

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. You can’t help but notice the oversized Valentine cards, the pink teddy bears, the heart-shaped balloons and Peggy (the fat, smelly woman in the cubicle three squares down) cry when she receives the flowers she sent to herself from online last week. Indeed, Cupid’s arrow is headed your way. 

Yes, Valentine’s Day will be here in less than two weeks so you may wanna start looking for cute jewelry, candy and begin revving up the ol’ penis to get ready for a night on the town of Vagina. If you’re like me and most men (between the ages of 25-35) you’re single. In fact: 347,522 men are deemed single every 26 minutes, each hour of the day. Is that a fact? No. Honestly, I thought I’d make up a statistic to sound like a smart guy to all my lady readers who, if you’re still here after my vagina comment, I’d like to say, “Hey baby! How’s YOUR vagina doing?!” Hello? Hello…are you there?! Can you hear me?! Helllooo…dammit!! Michael you do it EVERY time. So for the few remaining readers I wanted to share with you a new app that unfortunately, was deemed inappropriate for Apple’s store. It’s called iSutra (available in Cydia) and it’s, you guessed it, about Karma Sutra. It’s a very well polished app and you can tell the developer took the time to make an application that is both useful and inoffensive. All of the positions are shown with the male/female in their skivvies frozen in time getting it on. For example:

 

 

The above pic is my reason for reviewing the application. Can any man in the room admit to having sex in this position? Is it humanly possible to pull this off? To my lone female reader: would you PLEASE encourage your lover to do this pose the next time you’re bumping nasties?! It’d be hilarious…I couldn’t imagine having a woman stare at my anus while trying to please her. Maybe I’m old fashioned? Anyways, I won’t be keeping it on my phone because I’m just a lonely, creepy guy with a cat and box full of oversized Valentine’s Day cards I’ll be handing out to strippers.

 

AppAttack :D

 

*Some people are offended when you talk about jailbreaking the beloved iPhone. To those readers, I only jailbreak so that I can change the look of my phone. Nothing criminal regarding applications and the recent “app I won’t name because it’s fucking wrong in every way imaginable” (funny story here). Here’s what my main screen looks like…it’s the Glass Orb theme:

 

 

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