Flower

Lost

 

If you’ve been watching the news recently, you’ve learned about the tragic, yet fortunate, saga of Don Windlespoon. A leading professor at La Sierra University in Riverside California, Don was misfortunately shipwrecked on the abandoned island of Mockwallia, located 200 miles off the coast of Honolulu.

Having been a professor for 12 great years at the University, Don soon became disgruntled with the fact that he had to assign “A’s” to the less intelligent jocks of his class (in order to keep them on the football team who was ranked #78 in the past season’s playoffs). One student in particular (Tim Hollings) asked Don if he could answer a question on his semester final out loud. When Don approved of him asking said question out loud, Tim then proceeded to excrete a loud, obnoxious fart from his anus. This was the final straw in Don’s career. He asked his wife (Kathleen) to go on a cruise vacation to “get away” from it all and she complied. While drinking martinis on the Moon deck of The Voyager the captain (Captain Sam Forowitz) was distracted by a text message he received from his mistress (Julie Daniels). The cruise liner suddenly collided with a school of dolphins, unexpectedly causing the boat to tip slightly to the right. Don, having had two martinis that evening, lost his balance and went overboard. Kathleen screamed for help but was unfortunately struck with a sore throat that fateful evening. Hours later, Don found himself on an unknown island, confused and alone. He called his brother (Jacob) but unbeknownst to Don, Jacob had switched carriers after having an argument this past Thanksgiving (Don had thrown a fit after seeing that Jacob got the better half of the wishbone…apparently, Jacob has exceeded his parent’s expectations in every way and to Don, this was yet another slap in the face). With no one to call and not a human insight, Don began making a shelter along with a campfire to keep him company. It was only a mere 6 hours later that PETA caught wind of the happenings of Mockwallia Island. Having been beaten and raped by a gang of monkeys, Don had seemingly lost his mind. PETA had heard that Don was throwing coconuts at the monkeys to keep them away from what little food stash he had and quickly sent out helicopters to stop the fighting. An hour later Don was flown to his hometown in California, where he is currently awaiting trial for animal abuse.

Distant Shore is basically a way of sending out random text messages to strangers. You walk along a shore, gather seashells and when you’ve collected enough, you have a bottle in which you can send messages out to sea. Last night I spent some time throwing out letters, some serious, some goofy, and I received some pretty funny/weird/creepy/sad responses (one guy in particular was really homesick living in Canada but longing for Brazil). As seen below, I told whoever found this one message I’d post it on my website. I’ve had a great time seeing what replies I get. For 99 cents this app can be a lot of fun…just be creative and see what happens.

 

 

Aloha!

Aloha!

 

AppAttack :D

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