Doctor Strange


Having seen two episodes of General Hospital (back in 1987), I felt deep down inside my heart that working in the medical field was something I would enjoy doing. Not only to help those in need, but my chances of scoring with a hot nurse would increase by 75%…at least.

I gave my application to Dr. Stephens one cold November morning in hope of becoming a brain surgeon. He told me that to become a doctor you had to have years of schooling and training. I explained to him that I already had six years of playing the game Operation under my belt and that I could remove the butterfly piece without any buzzing sound on my first try- every time. He removed his glasses from his face and in a whispering voice told me to “get the fuck out”. So I did. I decided some applesauce would taste good so I made my way to the cafeteria via a wheelchair I discovered outside of room #471. As I sat quietly sipping my applesauce through a straw, nurse Jane Herring asked if she could sit next to me. I obliged and we spent around five minutes talking about how cold it was inside the cafeteria, the fact that Mandi wasn’t wearing a hairnet (again) and whether or not she should cut her sandwich into square shaped pieces or triangle shaped pieces. Jane asked if I had family there in surgery and I told her how my dream of being a doctor fell through. Her friend Daryl recently lost his job (due to using inhalants) so she asked me if I’d like to take it. With an enthusiastic “hell yeah” I happily followed Jane to her office down in B1. The application was simple: It had one question asking if I could handle sharp objects. I thought to myself how lame the question was and confidently placed a bold check mark in the box next to the word “Yes”. Jane then explained how much I’d be making, the “do’s” and “dont’s” and my working hours. With a handshake and a smile, I thankfully took the job and my dreams of working in a hospital came true. My job was both fairly simple and in some ways, gratifying. Each day I would simply follow doctors into rooms with patients, and while the doctor visited with them, I quietly popped their balloons. Not the fully inflated balloons mind you, but the ones laying on the ground or the ones that were sorta half way in the air, but not really. Everyone knows balloons that are not as erect as a 17 year old boy in Sunday School don’t cheer anyone up. So the doctor’s would carry on with their checkups and diagnosis while I smiled in my little blue scrubs and politely popped ineffective balloons. I loved the job but one day I messed up royally and ended up getting fired. Doctor Stephens (who hated me from the beginning) was talking with a patient who had recently got caught up in a drive-by shooting. Apparently, my timing of popping each balloon was inappropriate. The conversation went something like this:

“Louis, it appears when they shot (POP!) you here (POP!) and here (POP!) the bullets severed a main artery that goes to your lower leg. Had they not shot (POP!) you above the hip, you probably would not be in this predicament. When your mother returns from gathering your belongings at your home (POP! POP! POP!), we’ll go over your X-rays. Let’s hope she doesn’t drive down the wrong street…am I right? (POP! POP!)”

In the hall outside Louis’ room, Dr. Stephens took my pen and the small plastic bag I used for trash and quietly told me to “get the fuck out”. So I did.

Amateur Surgeon is a game I have been debating purchasing ever since iTune’s began reminding me about it each and every time I visit their App Store. One night, probably after a few beers, I decided to get it and I’m glad I did. The game is pretty damn big/long and there’s something addicting about it. Even the humorous dialog is somewhat amusing. The fact that it was 5 bucks kept me from getting it, but now that I have it, I think it’s worth forking over the cash. If you have patience unlike me, then continue waiting for a price drop. When it does drop (we all know it will some day), I highly recommend picking it up. That being said, I would also recommend you get it for your Touch and not your phone. So far, no one has called me during an operation but when they do…I’m sure I’ll be pissed. (The operations actually take awhile to complete so far).


AppAttack :D       

2 Responses to “Doctor Strange”

  1. March 17th, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    admin says:

    Many of you have replied to this post but unfortunately, I don’t know what you’re saying. When I translate it all, I’ll be more than happy to post it here. Be patient until then :) .

  2. April 11th, 2009 at 9:18 am

    admin says:

    Я могу теперь прочитать чего вы говорите так угождаете, говорить содержания :)

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