Awhile back I shared with you the secret fetish of my childhood friend Philip. At least once every two months since that post, I receive an email asking me about him and his Garfield loving ways.

Fortunately, I had a chance to catch up with Philip this past Christmas break. I can’t say it was a happy time…he shared some pretty tough, tearful moments with me while standing in line at Starbucks. It seems, after I had spread the word regarding his sexual misbehavior to all of my loyal readers, major news media grabbed hold of it and didn’t let go. Faux News went as far as to have a personal attack against Philip by one of their leading anchors, Phil O’Really. He said, on air, “Philip you sick son of a bitch! I’ve had a suction cup Garfield doll hanging in the backseat of my Suburban for 2 years and now I have to take it down because my kids can’t stop screaming, “Daddy! Daddy! Asshole! Asshole!” They loved that doll until you violated his reputation with your perverted ways”. Philip shared this with me while checking his email on some stranger’s laptop (I apologize on his behalf to the poor man…I’m sure the chapter you were working on was brilliant. Sorry).

Philip

“What really helped me, in a way, was when Nicole bought me that ferret” he continued while lighting a cigarette. Nicole had bought him a ferret to get his mind off cats in general. He fell in love with that furry little beast. “Sir, you can’t smoke in here…this is Starbucks” a cute young girl with nice fitting pants said, waving her hand in the air. “You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do” Philip replied. Questioning the logic of Philip’s proposal, the young girl walked off. “I loved that sock with legs”, Philip continued, “until that one day…”

Every Saturday Philip would take his pet ferret (named Tellurium) out for a walk around the local school yard. One unfortunate afternoon, Philip was walking along the sidewalk when he happened to come across a cigarette butt he didn’t recognize. Not knowing much besides Marlboro, Philip has always been fond of different cigarettes with an out of place logo. “I haven’t looked at a camel the same way since that horrible day”, he tells me while reading the track listing of Sheryl Crow’s latest outing quietly to himself. “It wasn’t that bad…was it?” I ask, while studying a coffee maker. “You have no idea”, he replied, reading the instructions of a children’s board game.

You see, as soon as Philip bent over to pick up the cigarette butt, he was raped by a Mastiff. According to the police report it went on for at least 25 minutes. “I didn’t know what to do”, Shauna (the dogs owner) told police. “He just layed there, kicking and screaming like a child. I asked my dog to get off him but he wouldn’t budge”. It wasn’t until Mitch (a fourth grade honor student) pushed the dog off Philip, was he able to get up. “I yelled at the dog to stop but he didn’t…so I just pushed him off”, Mitch told the officer. “I’ll always remember Mitch…that boy saved my life” Philip said to me with tears in his eyes. “I’m glad he did my friend…glad he did” I warmly said to him as we shook hands and made our way to the exit. 

Create-A-Cartoon Face is a new application I stumbled upon recently. I’ve been trying to “expand” my general app reviews to cover other apps besides games so that I can lead all readers in the right direction. What I love most about this app is that it inspires creativity. Steven Bjorkman is a children’s book illustrator with much talent behind the pen. With a set of predrawn options, you’re encouraged to literally create a cartoon face. As you’ve seen, I’ve illustrated my story with this Illustrator’s work. The majority of applications released lately haven’t been aimed necessarily at the younger audience. Create-A-Cartoon face would be perfect for parent’s of young children. I could personally see a parent hand this to their child saying, “Hey Pollonious! What’s that man over there look like? Can you draw it for Mommy?” and BAM! the child is entertained the duration of the trip. I personally got tickled trying to create the perfect image of what “Philip” looks like. (Not even close…he’s actually a decent looking guy. I just enjoy giving him shit. Hey Philip!!). Bottom line: if you’re a parent you and your child have most likely seen some of Bjorkman’s work. With a simple, easy to use interface and the fact that this application encourages imagination, you can’t go wrong.

AppAttack

This application was listed in the “Top 8 Apps To Get When Traveling With Kids”. I could have simply put click here…but you’re thinking of me as being smarter than I am. Check it out…this app is wonderful for the little guys!! 

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 8th, 2009 at 5:03 pm and is filed under App Attack, Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.