Spontaneous Clicker


I’ve told you many times that I think I have ADD. So much so, that I’ve diagnosed myself with having it, not seeing any doctor or anything like that…I simply decided one day to tell myself that I have ADD. At first I was shocked and then I began wondering how rock candy was made and forgot about the whole thing.



If you’re following me on Twitter, then you probably got annoyed when I posted that “Apple encourages ADD”. Not mad that I was blaming Apple for anything…just mad because I posted a boring Tweet. I understand. Like anyone with ADD who enjoys putting duct tape on the backs of old ladie’s heads during long bus trips, I also enjoy clicking “BUY APP” only for the thrill of watching something download. Most people won’t tell you, but buying applications can be a HUGE problem. Anything new pops up and BAM! you’re going through your bank account faster than a cheetah going through a deli looking for some dijon mustard for his delicious sub he just bought from Teddy, the fat sandwich maker who lives downtown but works in the suburbs to support his wife Cheryl who is now suffering from a sprained ankle she received after bending over to pick up the milk from the front porch. Yeah, you know how fast I’m talkin’!! I buy apps all the time and in due time, I won’t have any running water. But for the few moments I play with the app, I enjoy it so I’ll keep doing it, I guess. One app that I guess you could say “broke the bank” was iRa Pro. After my first divorce I took up working the night shift at a local scratch ‘n sniff sticker factory. I wish I had had an application like this because children love scratch ‘n sniff stickers. All the time, I had to run them off with a broom shouting, “Didn’t your mother warn you glue was a gateway drug?! Now look at you…you disgust me!!”. Who knows where the little bastards are now…I only hope that I helped them with my free advice. I’ll tell you more about my days at the scratch ‘n sniff factory later but for now, I’d like to tell you that I didn’t buy iRa Pro in the first place. It’s 900 dollars my friend. Who has that kind of money? !Aldskfjathat’s who (I don’t have any foreign keyboard skills so I just randomly pressed buttons to make up a name. If anyone knows what this person’s name is, I’ll gladly write you an email saying, “Thank you for telling me” if you send it to me). The developer of this app should be saying, “What’s New In This Version, Joe, Is We…”. They should be speaking directly to “Joe” who bought it. All of us know that nobody besides this guy bought it. We should be tempted by the updates alone to buy it. We’d say to ourselves, “DAMN!! In Joe’s update he got Increased Camera Support?!! That lucky bastard!! I’m so jealous!! I think I’ll buy it too”. In iTunes It should be more like a two way conversation between Joe and the developer with multiple reviews coming from Joe:

“4 Stars!! You promised me night vision and you didn’t deliver”

What’s New…Night Vision

“5 Stars!! Thanks for giving me night vision. Now fix the camera rotation speed!!”

“2 Stars!! Still no camera rotation speed and now I want the ability to play my music!!”

What’s New…Camera Rotation speed increased PLUS the ability to scroll through different cameras

“1 Star!! I want to hear my iPod music…this app sucks”

What’s New…Now listen to your own music library PLUS optional elevator music too

“2 Stars!! I got fired from that lousy job and now have to live with my folks. I don’t need your crappy application anymore”

What’s New…On Sale NOW for 99c until the Taurus Holiday Weekend. HURRY price will go back up once the holiday has ended“ 

I don’t mean to be so harsh on the application. I’m sure it does a great job doing what it’s meant to do. I guess the only way to find out would be to ask Joe?


AppNapp :(

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