And Grandma Goes…


Getting old has it’s disadvantages, trust me. Being 72 years old and living with a goofy delivery man and his beautiful (but soon to be fat) Jersey wife, I’ve had my share of trouble.


My great grandmother was recently diagnosed with farmanimitriosis. It’s nothing fatal, fortunately, but she most likely will be this way the rest of her life. Before you spend the next few hours researching the disease on WebMD, let me briefly explain what it is. Farmanimitriosis is a rare mental disease, most likely caused by playing bridge too often. There’s pills like Gonniplex you can take but the solution is only temporary. What happens to my great grandmother basically, is when anyone (or anything) applies pressure to her belly, she makes animal noises. She’s certainly not any fun to be around these days. Just last night she sat meowing in her chair for what seemed like an eternity until we realized her liquor bottle was laying on top of her stomach. For Christmas she had to sit at the kiddie table because the adult table was too close to her belly…it was awful. My younger cousins continually poked her so that she would make all kinds of animal sounds and then giggled at her when she yelled, “stop that!”. To top it all off, my great grandfather won’t even make love to her anymore…he says the horse sounds she makes are “belittling”. Each day brings it’s own challenges but my family and I are doing the best we can…we can only hope science finds a permanent cure.



Moo Shake! is an application aimed at 3-10 year old children. I would say more like from in the womb to maybe 3rd grade. I don’t know because I never graduated from 1st (fuck you Miss Clemens). The idea is to match three different sliding pieces to create one animal. As a learning tool, this could be great. The illustrations are wonderfully done and the sound effects are cute. Let’s say you’re one of those annoying mothers at the grocery store whose kids are going apeshit but you’re too ignorant to hang up your cellphone…BOOM! instant relief for all of us fellow shoppers. If you have younger children, I would recommend this application. On a side note, for my New Years Eve party I’m inviting anyone that walks down my grandma’s alley over. I hope my friend Joe stops by. He and his wife, Elena have a young child that would be perfect to try this application on. So long as the little bugger doesn’t stick my phone in his mouth.


AppAttack :D

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