Blue (Maybe Maroon?) Christmas


They say the holiday season is depressing for many people. I know exactly what they mean…

You see, each Christmas my grandmother wears this “V” neck sweater. It’s not an ugly sweater, mind you. In all honesty, it’s kind of cute. It has Mrs. Claus scolding Santa for eating too many cookies, along with Rudolph taking a dump behind the Christmas tree. Ok I’m joking here…he’s actually putting a present underneath it. Me and my cousins think it looks more like a turd because it’s wrapped in brown colored paper. We joke about it every year. The problem with the sweater is that, each time my grandmother bends over a certain way, you can see her nipple. We’re all too polite to say anything about it. But it’s a known fact that when grandma says, “Does anyone want anymore eggnog?” to quickly look the other way.
iFart (along with a 1,000 others) seems to be a popular fart machine in iTunes. I assume you press a button and it makes a fart noise. You’ll be shocked to find out I haven’t purchased any of these. I really don’t have a need for’em. I amuse myself in other odd ways. If you’re feeling sad this kind of app may cheer you up. You shouldn’t be sad though, I think you’re awesome! :D

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