Flower

Extra! Extra!

A few days ago, Grandma was asked by her bridge party to create a monthly newsletter. Cheryl, the president of the bridge party, had asked that I keep an eye on what Grandma was writing about, and that I proofread her work. I gladly accepted the parental duties and secretly read what she had written in her notebook late at night, after she had gone to bed.

“Grandma, the first of the month is coming up and your newsletter will be due. Have you found a lot of interesting things to write about?” I asked, quietly enjoying my morning breakfast. “Yes, my child, I’ve found sensational stories the group will just LOVE” she answered, pouring vodka into her oatmeal. “Mind if I take a look?” I inquisitively beckoned, pointing to her notebook on the counter. “Be my guest!”. The first few pages of her notebook were of rather poorly drawn pictures of squirrels pointing at each others testicles. “These are interesting pictures Grandma”. “Yes, those are some drawings I did while I was at the park Tuesday. They’ll be in the Art section.” The pages that followed were filled with incomplete sentences. I could see that she had had an idea but decided not to finish it. “Boy child shits his pants on playground” one headline read. “Grandma, don’t you think this is a bit much?” I questioned, pointing to the large, bold sentence. “It’s true! A small boy shit his pants the other day and all the other children laughed at him, poor thing. I gave him my pine scented air freshener from my car but I don’t think it helped any.” I took a sip of coffee and continued reading. “Dog raped while being tied to a tree” another article read. “Grandma, surely you’re not going to print this?”. “That little schnauzer never saw it coming. One minute, he was tied to a tree while his owner went to take a drink from the fountain and the next, he’s being raped by a golden retriever. The poor dog’s owner pushed the retriever off of him in time but still, such a damn shame that things like that go on in public places”. “Grandma, all of these articles are in regards to what took place at the park last Tuesday. Not ONE of them has to do with your bridge party. Shouldn’t you be writing about your friends or perhaps the game of bridge?” I respectfully asked, closing her notebook. “Bah! I don’t give a rat’s ass about bridge or any of those terrible women. I don’t even go to their damn bridge parties. Cheryl just wants me to stop going to the strip club. They have dollar margarita happy hour specials every day from 5 ’til 7 and they’re delicious my child, DELICIOUS!” she proclaimed, raising her hand in the air. “Alright, Grandma. I guess you can do whatever you want but you better invite me next time you go”.

Instead of an app, I’d like to tell you about a website. If you’re a big fan of Twitter and are following a bunch of people, consider looking into this website: http://paper.li/. It throws together all the different websites, photos and videos your followers tweet about into one easy to read page. You can then tweet it to your account, allowing other people to read what your friends on Twitter are tweeting about. By sharing all of your tweets on one page, people can see who you follow and may find some interesting people. I’ve only discovered it today but I look forward to seeing how effective it is both in keeping up with tweets personally and also sharing the many interesting articles people who follow me share.

AppAttack :-D

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