I noticed recently that Muffins’ litterbox is seldom full of cat feces. Every time I go to empty it nowadays, all I find are empty vodka bottles Grandma has left behind. Being a cat owner, I began to wonder if Muffins had some dietary disfunction or if Grandma was simply scaring him away from the litterbox by throwing her bottles at him (she’s afraid of cat farts…for some reason or another, she believes if you inhale a cat fart it takes 9 years out of your life).

It wasn’t until Judy (a hot MILF that lives about 5 houses down from us) left an angry letter on Grandma’s doorstep that I’d figured out what was wrong. The letter read, “Why don’t you keep that damn cat inside?! It’s because of your stupid, lazy-eyed cat that my daughter (Samantha) is using our front lawn as a toilet”. Then it hit me. On my way home from my daily job (of wiping off public urinals) I realized, all of the local kids were dropping deuces in their neighbor’s yard. I saw Timothy (that little kid that keeps rice in his braces for when he gets hungry) being chased off of Miss Wertherford’s lawn with a broom. As I turned the corner, I saw Elizabeth (that really chubby girl that hops everywhere because she likes the way it feels) being scolded by Mr. Berring. And to make matters worse, when I arrived home I saw my own grandmother squatting behind the oak tree in our backyard, taking a dump. On second thought, she does that all the time.

Plants vs. Zombies (iTunes) is one heck of an addicting game. It came out last February and most likely you already own but if you don’t, you’re truly missing out. It’s a game that deserves all 5 stars and each glowing review I would have to agree with. The object of the game is to keep zombies from your home by planting odd plants throughout your yard. What’s addicting is each new plant that you’re given once you move farther along in the game. Every plant has it’s own method of defense or attack so you have to plan ahead as to how best protect your house. This is one of those games that I don’t press Start unless I know I have at least 30 minutes to kill because I know it’s gonna take up that much (if not more) of my time. Like I said, you probably already own it thus, this review is useless but I wanted to write an article about kids taking dumps in neighbor’s yards. That’s funny shit…pun intended.

AppAttack

This entry was posted on Friday, April 2nd, 2010 at 3:23 pm and is filed under App Attack, Games. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.