I’m Busy, Go AWAY!!!

Last weekend I taught Grandma how to make a telephone simply by using a string and two empty cans. She loved it. I’ve never seen her so tickled by something so simple and easy to make. We spent our entire breakfast eating cold oatmeal and discussing politics across the kitchen table. When I had to use the restroom midway through the The Price is Right, she laughed through her empty tin can that she was getting a bad reception on my part. After lunch we sat on the porch discussing how children (young boys in particular) aren’t as tough as they use to be while shooting at any that dared to ride by on their tricycle with BB guns. During her afternoon nap, I could hear her snoring through her little can as she mumbled something about waffles and ancient Roman art. After dinner (yes, we talked through our homemade cans about tornados and their effect on subculture groups) she asked me if I’d take her to the local bar and talk to her while waiting in the car. This, was where I drew a line. I told her that the phone lacks such capabilities and it would be useless knowing she’d be either passed out after three pitchers or in a random fight with someone who confused her to being a man. As I write this very sentence I see my end of the phone lying on the floor next to my Smurf house shoes. In a fit of rage, she cut the string in two and told me to go wash the dog (we don’t have one).

Chess Elite (iTunes) is a simple, addictive chess game that’s incredibly easy to pick up. Whether you’re a brilliant, strategic chess playing genius or just an idiot that has learned the game but never seem to improve at it (like me) then Chess Elite is definitely worth taking a look at. Like I previously mentioned, I’m not any good at the game of chess but I enjoy playing it. I’d like to be one of those guys that can think three to four steps ahead but I know this is only a dream (I’ve slipped on grandma’s empty vodka bottles one too many times). My one and only complaint about this game is that you’re constantly playing it. But dipshit, isn’t that a good thing? No, no it’s not. Those cute little “badges” that pop up on applications annoy me even though I like seeing them. It’s a little constant reminder that I have something that needs to be done while I’m trying to do something else. Alright, that’s actually not a bad thing. Maybe I’m just lazy? I have about ten games going on right now and I know that as soon as I make a move, whoever I’m playing will then make a move, forcing me to see a little “reminder” on my phone. I’m almost certain they think the same as me. If you enjoy chess and you enjoy not putting your phone down, I highly recommend this game. In fact, if you want to play chess with someone that’s not very good at it, challenge me. I’m, of course, “AppAttack”. See you on the wooden battlefield of death and destruction. Where children live in fear and horses march in despair at the beckoning of the evil Queen. All while the atrophied King sits alone in his paranoid chair of schizophrenia. Ok…that’s absolutely nothing like the game of chess but, whatever.

AppAttack :D

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