Archive for February, 2010

Fairy Floss

Joe “Fairy Floss” Deminius is our local neighborhood cotton candy maker. He has an awesome, pimped out cotton candy machine that he rolls around the neighborhood, giving the delicious sugary spun treat to all the boys and girls ($3). His wife left him about six years ago after doctors told her that her daily diet of cotton candy was incredibly unhealthy. They had a child together, Gumpster, but he rarely comes outside of Joe’s apartment. Gumpster unfortunately is constantly sticky. Playing games like duck, duck, goose or red rover (not to mention any card or board game) is a persistent challenge for the poor boy. I spoke to him one time after Muffins had climbed into his tree chasing a bird.


Where’d You Go, Psycho Boy?

Without sounding like your average 8 year old child, screaming and crying after being denied a piece of candy at your local grocery store (kids are pussies these days), I won’t throw a bitch-fit here in explaining why I haven’t updated my site for so long. I will however, say that I got burned out. Burned out at what? Fondling yourself on someone’s front doorstep while ringing their doorbell incessantly only to run away when they answer? No, are you kidding me?! That NEVER gets old. I got burned out on apps. When you run a significant life affirming website like this, you receive hundreds if not thousands of emails a day, asking you to review their iPhone application (OK, maybe not that many). Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take any promo codes you wanna give me. What I got tired of was the “bribes” of putting a certain bias towards applications/games that just weren’t that good. Not all developers take the low road but some do and it made me think differently of all the websites I visit to learn about apps I would like to purchase. Say whaaat? You mean to tell me you read other reviews besides your own to find out if an app is worth buying? Sadly, I do. I know this website is the #1 most popular iPhone app related website in the entire world and that some have even left their alcoholic, drug induced, prostitute loving lifestyle behind after visiting here only once but yes, there are other websites regarding iPhone applications. So, without complaining anymore (and because I need to go clean up the spaghetti I left in Grandma’s pillowcase) know that any application I approve of here is from the heart and not because someone told me to like it. That’s why I started this website in the first place.

AppAttack :D

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