Archive for November, 2009

Le Miserables

This afternoon, being bored with my thousands of millions of songs on my iPod, I decided to look for a radio app. I discovered Wunder Radio (iTunes) and, believing lunch to be a waste of my hard earned money, took it upon myself to fork over 7 bucks to buy it. So far, I’m really impressed. You can choose between your local radio (which everyone thinks their local radio sucks…just ask anyone) or listen to something across the globe. Many reviews in iTunes claim they have a poor reception or that they’ll lose the reception altogether but I never came across this issue. It does take a little while to get a stream going but who doesn’t have five seconds to spare? I look forward to spending some more time with the app to add more radio stations. The idea of listening to something someone somewhere far away from me is listening to gives me a warm feeling. In fact, this afternoon I listened to a radio station in Paris. When Grandma woke up (I had just picked her up from her morning Bridge party. She passed out drunk half way through the game) she had no clue what we were listening to. I wrote on the back of a receipt that, “the world decided to adopt a new language” and that she had been passed out for so long, she missed learning it. Now when she says something to me I just act confused and ask her to draw pictures of what she’s trying to say. I’ll probably tell her I was only joking after dinner.

AppAttack :D

Hood Rats

For the past two weeks I’ve been hanging out at our local school park jamming to my boombox,¬†singing along with whatever song happens to be on Radio Disney. Most the kids around me will stop playing Jacks or Hopscotch and start singing along with me or break out in crazy dance moves the likes of which, many haven’t seen. We all give each other¬†high fives, trade baseball cards, sip Kool-Aid and laugh about how Miss Folinger has a huge mole on her face that looks like Abraham Lincoln (for the record, I have never met Miss Folinger so if she is in fact reading this, I would like to extend my deepest apologies if these children are rude to you. I don’t encourage it and will try my best to teach them to be nice). Grandma likes me to be home around 5 o’clock because Happy Hour is just getting started and she likes to be first in line (although there is no “line”, it just makes her feel good). It’s around this time that I ask the kids if they wanna jam with me down the street. For the most part, they all join me and we make our way down Cheshire Avenue singing and bopping along. We all have such a great time. We laugh, throw rocks at pigeons and occasionally buy ice cream if the Ice Cream man’s truck happens to swing by. Why do all of this, you ask? Well, Grandma lives in one of the world’s most dangerous neighborhoods. People are getting robbed and shot here all the time. But the thing is, and this is a trick you can use yourself, people don’t rob/attack other’s when there’s kids around. Unless of course you’re the parents of Bruce Wayne, most would-be attackers will just leave you alone. It’s a fantastic trick I’d encourage anyone to use.

Soosiz (iTunes) is the closest the iPhone has come to a Mario-like game yet. Yes, claiming a game is like Mario can be considered blasphemy to some but, I’m being serious here. In the game Soosiz, you simply roam around a spinning world looking for lost children. Some children give you enhancements (speed, jump, etc) while others just follow you around like your cat does when it’s time for dinner. The developer of the game borrowed heavily in some ways from the Mario universe (see photo above) but it’s not to the point of copy/past blandness that most imitators give you. The game is packed with plenty of different worlds and levels along with boss battles that at times, can be difficult. It’s challenging but not “throw my iPhone at my sister’s head, rip every page of my library book, take a dump on my neighbor’s porch” kind of challenging. I’ve yet to come to the point of abandoning the game in frustration. If you want a good side scrolling game that is similar to Super Mario Bros I’d highly recommend you give Soosiz a spin.

AppAttack :D

Freaks, Geeks & Weirdos

I’ve long been a fan of circus sideshows. Not the circus, mind you, they treat their animals like shit and I don’t care at all for them (are they even still around?). I like “human oddities” simply because they’re incredibly unique in their own way, miles above what normal boring people are like. The book Mutants: On Genetic Variety and the Human Body was written by Armand Marie Leroi and is an incredibly well written, fascinating study of the different types of humans in this world and how they physically became who they are/were genetically. I couldn’t put the book down for very hours on end it’s that good. If you see a copy, grab it. Tod Browing’s Freaks (iTunes) is a film loosely based on how the public interprets people who are different. If you’re too lazy to read a book, check out this film. There’s one cast member (I can’t remember his name at the moment) who has no arms or legs and yet manages to light a cigarette. I always wonder how that man was treated outside of Hollywood. Anyways, both of these are worth checking out and I encourage you to do so.

See what I did just now? I took a topic in which I could have made a stupid joke or elaborated even further and created some messed up fictional story regarding my friends or family. But I didn’t. I’m like that new and horribly not funny gum commercial where everyone gets paid for their services in gum. I’ve got layers of flavor baby. Karnival (iTunes) is a game in which you travel the country (as a boy with a goat arm) and try to build up your karma, money, reputation and groupies. You’re given all the luxuries of a traveling carnival (food stands, amusement park rides, “freaks”..etc) and it’s your job entertain the townsfolk. I’m currently on my third city but from what hours I’ve spent playing the game, I love it. There’s a lot to learn and I haven’t quite yet figured it all out but spending time with the game is a pleasure. I hope with future updates you can zoom in even closer to see more animations (ex: the picture above is the bearded lady. It’d be awesome if she was moving around and doing crap although I don’t know how easy this would be to create). The asking price is a little high so if you’re short on cash, keep an eye out for any spontaneous price drop. It’s certainly worth looking into if you like these kinds of games.

AppAttack :D

Cold Case

What up homeslice?! Where ya at and how ya been?! That’s how I always answer my phone…even if it’s Grandma calling. She always giggles coyly and then proceeds to tell me how useless I am and that it’s my fault she’s outta vodka. It’s usually at this time that I simply turn around and pour her another drink. She always calls me back to apologize and tells me that she didn’t mean it. Again, I just turn around in my little chair and give her a pat on the head. Anyways, I’ve been out with a darn cold/flu/crap lately so I haven’t had just a whole lot of time to mess around with the App Store. I did in fact download Doom Classic (iTunes) because I have fond memories of it growing up. I would get home from school, slap on the ol’ Sega 32X and blast away at demonic entities to relieve all the stress that comes with Middle School. And it helped. The iPhone port is just as good. I highly recommend it. Today, however, I wanted to tell you about a product. I often get emails asking, “Hey what case do you have on your iPhone? PS: I made roast beef tonight so you better come join me. You can bring Muffins IF you bring vodka as well. Love ya!”. So to answer all of your questions, I use a Speck CandyShell case. It’s one solid chunk of kick ass plastic that covers almost the entire phone and has two gut wrenching layers of protection. It’s easy to take off for cleaning not to mention, it slides in and out of your pocket like honey dripping from a bee’s ass. I love it. If you’ve spent thousands of dollars on cases and are still not satisfied, wake your dumbass up and pick up a CandyShell…you’ll thank me.

AppAttack :D

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