Flower

Archive for April, 2009

Передавать всемирно

 

Иногда может быть культурами трудного вникания различными. Как так? Потому что много из нас говорят в различных языках и много из нас слишком лениво для того чтобы выучить что-то новое. It’ стыд A.S., честно. Мы все имеем что-то, котор нужно выучить от одного другое. There’ части s мира I’ ve никогда не видимый но план к некоторому дню. И когда я делаю, я надеюсь что я могу поговорить/понимаю все, что угодно родной язык случается сказать так как мое отключение будет что очень приятно. Я часто забываю который не только может люди в Америка читают этот вебсайт, но почти весь мир может также. (Я угадываю I’ ve сместил и ударил мое головное одно слишком много времен на Grandma’ бутылки водочки s пустые для того чтобы понять такую просто принципиальную схему как интернет? Возможно ей нужна помощь? Я знаю http://babelfish.yahoo.com I’ старт ll подмеча их к углу кухни так как I’ выскальзование ll часто!). Когда I can’ t понимает чего некоторые телезрители говорят, я использует…. Он покрывает много популярных языков и очень полезн общаясь с моими друзьями от afar.

 

AppAttack :D

Rock Butt

 

And by “rock butt” I mean rock bottom. When I was a kid we called our asses our “bottoms” so maybe “rock butt” is how kids say rock bottom nowadays? Or maybe I have no clue what the hell I’m talking about and basically am just talking out of my ass? Better yet, I’m talking out of my cheeks. But then again, my butt cheeks can be related to the cheeks on my face. Nevermind…I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Moving on…last night I sat, watching my usual shows when a iPhone commercial came on. Sadly, there’s a few apps I’m (desperately) waiting to arrive but, lord knows when they’ll show (Yeah, I’m looking at YOU Mr. Car Jack Streets >:-[ !!!) . In the mean time I’m downloading anything that looks somewhat appealing. So last night, thanks to technology, I rewound the commercial and studied what apps I could see displayed on Grandma’s 32″ television. I saw one called Pano and decided to look it up. I found it but to my dismay it wasn’t free (remember I’m stealing from Grandma these days). Being the desperate man I am, I forked over the two bucks and honestly, I’m HIGHLY impressed with this application. From my lazy ass position on Grandma’s couch in the basement I tried it out and to my utter shock, came out with a PERFECT panoramic photograph (Muffins still trying to get to his litterbox was an added bonus). If you want to make perfect panoramic photographs of you in the lunch line, at the bank or on your friend’s toilet, this is THE app to buy. I love it!!

 

AppAttack :D

Home Builder

 

I build homes when I’m not writing silly stories in regards to iPhone Applications. What’s that? You don’t believe a damn word that’s coming out of my mouth? I don’t blame you. I’ve been making up bizarre stories since day one so WHY SHOULD YOU believe anything on this site?! Well, today you should because I had a scary incident happen yesterday…and I need a hug.

 

 

Crime Scene

Crime Scene

 

Yesterday afternoon our lawn guys were installing some sprinklers on a small home we’re doing here in town. Our painters had left for the day (they always leave at exactly 4PM…must be better looking strippers before Happy Hour? I dunno). So one of the lawn guys called me up and asked if he could get into the garage to install the sprinkler control box. The painters, having had their supplies stolen numerous times, lock up the house tighter than Muffin’s rectum at the vet’s office. I drove to the home and walked inside along with the sprinkler guy. As we entered the garage, the man whom I’m trying best not to call an “idiot”, remarked how dark it was inside (Lighting is generally placed inside the home AFTER the painters leave). In a matter of seconds he pulled a lighter from his pocket and attempted to use it as a lantern to see his way in the dark abyss that was the garage. I yelled at him “NO!!” and he (slowly) put two and two together. Had the painters began using lacquer on our woodwork, I would most likely not be here to tell you this story. I don’t even like writing about it so I’ll move on…

What makes Build-a-lot so much fun is that it has the “Sim City feel” (music, appearance, light heartedness..etc) to it but it’s much more fast paced. Your job is to complete a list of tasks the mayor of each town wants done. If you complete said tasks quick enough, you receive a ribbon and a sense of accomplishment. I’ve had a hard time putting it down while watching television, as once you get into it, it’s difficult to turn off. It’s very well made and borders on intensity/relaxing at the same time. For five dollars, it’s a little steep but certainly put this one on your “price drop” list. If you’re a fan of time based games or the Sims I think you wouldn’t mind forking over the cash but to the average fan I say hold off. See you Sunday ;)  

 

AppAttack :D

Dragons Suck

 

 

Let’s face it, a day in the life of a cat sucks. You wake up, eat some food, drop a deuce then find a new place to sleep. Repeat. Maybe that sounds appealing to some people but to me, it seems too boring. To liven up Muffins day I try to “mix up” his daily routine. For example, yesterday I put his dry food in his bowl and then turned it upside down. Because cats don’t have thumbs, I believed this would prove a challenge to Muffins. I was wrong. Being the smart cat that he is, Muffins simply slid the bowl around, exposing the food for him to eat. Today, however, I was the winner. You see, Muffins litterbox is behind the TV in the livingroom (Grandma thinks hearing cat farts is more funny than commercials nowadays). I arranged a stack of books and pillows so that there was a “wall” keeping Muffins away from his box. To top it all off, I rubbed butter on top of the television so that he would slide right back down to the opposite side of the wall if he attempted to jump. I gotta go pick up some cat shit before Two and Half Men come on…I’ll tell ya more later!!!

I’m not the most strategic guy in the world. Yes, I am the smartest guy in the world, but that’s only because Gammie says so. When it comes to Tower Defense (“TD” not “TNA”) games, I usually win a level because I unknowingly placed a good tower in the right spot. If you happen to be good and such games and are in the market for a new one, I HIGHLY recommend ElementalMonsterTD. What has kept me coming back to this game over and over is the fact that you can collect cards. Each time you play through a level (50 rounds that increase in intensity as the game moves forward) you receive points that can earn you a stronger, better tower. It’s fun to see what new cards you can get even though you got your ass handed to you. The replay value is high on this one once you start getting into it….I give it a big

 

AppAttack :D  

Gas-X(box)

 

While I’m on the subject, let me share with you a new game me and Muffins play. A usual day in my life consists of me and Muffins driving around town until we get bored or until he drops a deuce…whichever comes first. For the cat owners in the house, you know what I’m talking about. Cats for some reason like to walk around inside your vehicle when you’re cruising down the street smoking endo, sippin’ on gin and juice. I think they enjoy the challenge of overcoming the look Garfield failed miserably at. Anyways, every now and then we have to stop and get gas. Muffins gets bored easily so to entertain him, I’ve developed a fun game you guys can play at home. You know those windshield washers they have next to the pump? Well, what you do is you take one of those, get it nice and wet and then look for someone with glasses. They can be at the gas station across the street if need be, the point is they HAVE to have glasses. You confidently approach them and, with a sweet caring voice you ask, “Could I wash your windows sir/ma’am?”. It doesn’t matter if they say yes or no…before they answer all you have to do is hit them perfectly in the face with the windshield washer. It’s very simple as the washer already has a “T” shape to it so getting both lenses wet should easily be accomplished. I know Muffins likes watching me play the game. For bonus points you can yell, “BROOKLYN HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART POWER!!”. It doesn’t make any sense but it’s fun to yell.

Gas Cubby is an application used for tracking your gas mileage and the maintenance of your car/truck/van/spaceship. I’m currently using it to track my gas mileage and it’s very well made and easy to use. The only problem I have is that a couple of days ago I forgot to enter my information and drove off. I wish there was some notification to remind you of actually using the app itself but maybe when Push comes out, this will all be taken care of. If you’re the kind of person that takes care of your car and how much money you put into it, this app is perfect for you. The developer claims that it will be raised in price (to $10) in the future so the asking price of $1.99 seems like the right time to buy. BROOKLYN HIGHSCOOL SWEETHEART POWER!!!!!

 

AppAttack :D   

Gravity And It’s Effect On Balls

 

We’re all feeling the effects of the economy lately. And iTunes hasn’t exactly been helpful, having such an abundance of new apps dished out daily. I hate to admit it, but when my wallet’s empty I always steal from Grandma. I feel bad doing it, not because I’m taking money from my own sweet grandmother, but more so because it’s always change. I seldom ever find actual paper money. It’s always pennies, dimes and if I’m lucky, quarters. It’s embarrassing counting pennies at the corner gas station when buying a Playboy. I ALWAYS run into my 5th grade teacher, Miss Collins, who caught me playing with myself on the teeter totter during recess one afternoon. Embarrassing.

When I can’t find a good app to tell you about, I search other websites that are light years ahead of me in the Age of Interwebs (I probably don’t need to provide a link, as you most likely check better sites daily. What’s that? You made a wrong turn and ended up here? Welcome!! Enjoy your stay…there’s no other site better than this one for all your iDevice needs ;) ). GravBall is a game I saw mentioned on another site and decided to give it a shot (it’s free, so Grandma’s rich today). It’s a lot of fun and great for a quick distraction. What I like most about it is how it fades when you begin or end a level. Not having sound, it reminds me of an old silent movie. I’m weird like that.

 

AppAttack :D   

Thank You For Calling

 

Spring is beginning to poke it’s large, flower fragranced head around and it makes me feel warm inside. With my new job I tend to travel a lot so with pleasant weather, comes safe travels. I love the spring time.
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