Archive for February, 2009

(It Don’t Matter If You’re) Black or White


Remember the video? Notice how the music stops playing when the father enters the room. Does this mean it was only in Macauly’s head? Also note that he kills his father by blasting him into deep space. Good stuff. I remember when the “morphing heads” at the end was the next BIG THING in the world of technology. Michael Jackson’s one cool mofo’ in my opinion. Back when I was a kid, he was seen as “bad” or what has now been “morphed” into the phrase “bad ass”. My generation’s male role model was a sissy, little skinny man that looked like he was having sex with the air around him when he danced. This world needs more James Dean.



Funny Face


If you’re actually reading this, then most likely you have a completely odd sense of humor that none of your friends can understand. Thanks for stopping by and keep up the good work!! Having said that, check out the album Incredibad by The Lonely Island. I know a few of the tracks are from SNL but I don’t watch SNL (Saturday Night Live) so I found them hilarious. I’ve listened to the album a few times while cruising down the block in my six four and I can almost guarantee you people were laughing at me, laughing at the songs at stop lights. It’s pretty damn funny…check it out!! (For example, sample “I’m On a Boat”…the idea of doing flips on a dolphin had me in tears). 


AppAttack :D

Captain Morgan’s Parrot


In the winter of 1997 my grandmother stole a parakeet from our local exotic pet shop (next to Ted’s Laundromat off of Kaisley street). Her being allergic to anything with fur, I only had turtles and lizards during my late 20′s so a bird was a welcome change in our household.

Be My Valentine?


Yesterday I found a Valentine card from my niece Caroline (2nd grader at Oswalt Elementary) on my grandma’s recliner in the front yard. I’d like to scan it and show it to you but unfortunately, Muffins pissed all over my scanner Monday when the mailman rang the doorbell.

Reply All


Happy Monday to you all!!! I honestly don’t mind Monday…you shake off the weekend hangover, strap on the ol’ tennis shoes and dress up as a woman to trick your neighbors into believing they have a new neighbor (you may find other ways to fill your day which is cool too). Mondays feel like everything is back in action. Now Tuesdays, I won’t even mention’em. I really have never liked Tuesday. Ugly, freckle faced bastard…you can go to hell if you’re reading this Tuesday, ya prick! Anyways, I’ve received a few emails asking why I don’t write as many articles as CNN. My reply would be, why you gotta be like that? I thought we were cool? You think you’re a big man comparing me to a major news outlet? You can be so mean at times…I hate you! Lately, I’ve been wanting to write one article that I (and Alex, my one and only reader) find funny instead of a lot of little “haha’s”. I’d rather you laugh one good laugh, instead of those annoying little puffs of air through your nose, that most people do when they don’t really feel like laughing out loud. That being said, I’ve got two reviews coming up that, if I can word them properly, will make beer come out of your nose. Beer? Yes, I said beer. Monday’s almost over and Tuesday is on it’s way…time to prepare!! ;)

Txting 1 2 3

When you live with family, particularly the elderly, it’s important to keep in touch on a frequent basis. I’ve spent the last two weeks teaching Grandma how to send text messages for times that I can’t talk on the phone or if she simply needs to send me a short message. For being close to 80 years old (and having arthritis) I must tell you she’s pretty good at sending’em. Here’s a little conversation we had this past Sunday…



What About Love?


Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. You can’t help but notice the oversized Valentine cards, the pink teddy bears, the heart-shaped balloons and Peggy (the fat, smelly woman in the cubicle three squares down) cry when she receives the flowers she sent to herself from online last week. Indeed, Cupid’s arrow is headed your way. 



As all of you, my faithful readers, know…I hate Tuesdays. They’re always “off” for some reason. So to cheer you and myself up a little watch this. My brother posted it on his website the other day so I’m being completely unoriginal by posting it here. It’s pretty damn funny. I hope to have more reviews shortly but for now…I need some coffee. I hope you’re doing well. Take care.

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