Flower

Archive for the ‘Utilities’ Category

Price Check On Isle 3

RedLaser (iTunes) is flip flappin’ fantastic. Flip flappin’ fantastic? Yes! Flip flappin’ fantastic. Go ahead and use this phrase whenever you’re around your buddies. I heard some kids saying it the other day at Target so it’s one of those “up and coming” cool phrases that everyone’s going to be using soon. Kind of like the word “sick”. You heard it here first folks. RedLaser is simply an application that allows you to scan barcodes and get different prices from the internet on products. I have an iPhone 3GS and it works incredibly flip flappin’ fantastically well. My only problem is that it doesn’t necessarily work with my old iPhone (1st generation) that I gave to my grandma. I guess it’s not really a problem but it’s certainly a small complaint my grandmother has with the application. Usually around the middle of the month I get an allowance from grandma for being such a sweet grandson (i.e. picking up empty vodka bottles, putting out unsmoked cigarettes and making sure she has a blanket when and wherever she decides to pass out). The only catch is that I have to walk to the local liquor store and buy her a box of vodka (basically, I get to keep the change. Sucks, yeah, but it’s money). Me being a boy genius, I try to find the best, cheapest deal of vodka so that I have more money to spend on Pork-N-Beans. Well, grandma has wised up to my creative ways and now she scans the barcodes to see how much of a deal I made. Whenever she catches me buying the super cheap stuff I have to dress up like a monkey and play spoons at her weekly bridge party. Sucks.

AppAttack :D

Hey Wassup?!

Hey Nathum, what’s going on?! How ya been?! I ran into your mom the other day at the grocery store. She said she was picking up some over the counter medicine for your penisifus infection (was she being cute or serious? What is penisifus?!). I hope that shit clears up soon man, sorry to hear about that. I said to myself, “DAMN Nathum’s mom is HOT!” and then I realized that’s your dad’s new girlfriend. So I must say, “DAMN Nathum’s stepmom is HOT!”. How many times do you “accidentally” walk in on her in the shower? Be honest, man, you can tell me. LOL! Speaking of hot, how’s your sister? Did she ever call it quits with Derek? I’m single BTW….let her know! Bro’s before Ho’s as they say. You ever run into Greg? I wonder how he’s doing? Rumor has it Greg is now Gina…isn’t that some crazy shit?!! Well, anyways, thanks for visiting my website. I appreciate the fact that you come here at least once a month. Call me some time and we’ll go grab some beers!! Peace out bro!!

Alright, to the best of my knowledge, more than one person checks out this site every now and then. The above paragraph is me being silly. Who would name their kid Nathum anyways?! To see how many people enjoy reading my little nuggets of chocolatey goodness I use Google Analytics. It’s pretty useful and at times, depressing. I told you not ONE person from North Dakota has been here, didn’t I? Google has an app that does the same thing called Google Analytics (iTunes) That isn’t the exact name of the app but I’m not going to type it all out for you. Just click on the link…it’s horribly long. If you have a website and use Google Analytics, the app works just as well. There’s also a free version to check out if you don’t have any money.

AppAttack :D

Watch Your Step by Step

 

If you’ve ever been to a large city (the one I live in only has 4 people and they are all family) then when I tell you that everyone’s faces are glued to their phones, you know what I’m talking about. They don’t look up or around for any reason whatsoever. You could yell, “Hey everybody!! That monkey stole my bean burrito!! Get him FAST before he gets in his car!!!” and not one person will look at you. It’s sad but that’s what technology can do to a person. If you’re one of these type of people then you’re going to wanna get Email n’ Walk (iTunes link). The application allows you to view whatever happens to be in front of you while walking/watching tv/taking a poo..etc. via your camera and write an email at the same time. I personally like it for viewing the girl in front of me’s butt while waiting in line for a bean burrito. I’m creepy like that.

 

AppAttack :D

 

Keep Track, Jack

 

If you know me, then you know I’m not organized. Well, you think that I’m unorganized when in fact, I’m actually the most organized unorganized person in the world. Sure, I may forget that I have a haircut at 2:00PM but I wrote it down in my planner. Yeah, there’s laundry on the floor, but it’s keeping the carpet clean. Dishes in the sink? So what, there’s clean ones in the cabinet. Empty vodka bottles all across the house? Those aren’t mine, they’re grandma’s so back the fuck up! This isn’t between you and her, this is between me and you, dammit. (See how I just write shit down and go with it? What other app related website has such musical prose? Nobody).

 

 

9 Tools for 1 Fool

9 Tools for 1 Fool

 

Some applications in iTunes are there to help manage your daily life. My friend Frank showed me 9-Toolbox (iTunes link) last night while watching The King of Kong (loved it…rent it from Netflix if you have an account). As you can see, there’s a lot of useful “tools” wrapped up in one application which may be beneficial to some of you. My favorite tool was the Holiday tool. I learned that Japan has a holiday where they respect the elderly.

 

 

R E S P E C T

R E S P E C T

 

Now do you feel bad for making fun of grandma’s drinking problem? You should, asshole. For a free application, it’s worth checking out. Just thought I’d bring it to your attention…

 

AppAttack :D  

Gas-X(box)

 

While I’m on the subject, let me share with you a new game me and Muffins play. A usual day in my life consists of me and Muffins driving around town until we get bored or until he drops a deuce…whichever comes first. For the cat owners in the house, you know what I’m talking about. Cats for some reason like to walk around inside your vehicle when you’re cruising down the street smoking endo, sippin’ on gin and juice. I think they enjoy the challenge of overcoming the look Garfield failed miserably at. Anyways, every now and then we have to stop and get gas. Muffins gets bored easily so to entertain him, I’ve developed a fun game you guys can play at home. You know those windshield washers they have next to the pump? Well, what you do is you take one of those, get it nice and wet and then look for someone with glasses. They can be at the gas station across the street if need be, the point is they HAVE to have glasses. You confidently approach them and, with a sweet caring voice you ask, “Could I wash your windows sir/ma’am?”. It doesn’t matter if they say yes or no…before they answer all you have to do is hit them perfectly in the face with the windshield washer. It’s very simple as the washer already has a “T” shape to it so getting both lenses wet should easily be accomplished. I know Muffins likes watching me play the game. For bonus points you can yell, “BROOKLYN HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART POWER!!”. It doesn’t make any sense but it’s fun to yell.

Gas Cubby is an application used for tracking your gas mileage and the maintenance of your car/truck/van/spaceship. I’m currently using it to track my gas mileage and it’s very well made and easy to use. The only problem I have is that a couple of days ago I forgot to enter my information and drove off. I wish there was some notification to remind you of actually using the app itself but maybe when Push comes out, this will all be taken care of. If you’re the kind of person that takes care of your car and how much money you put into it, this app is perfect for you. The developer claims that it will be raised in price (to $10) in the future so the asking price of $1.99 seems like the right time to buy. BROOKLYN HIGHSCOOL SWEETHEART POWER!!!!!

 

AppAttack :D   

Weird Science

 

As you can see, I rarely give any application what iPhone Gaming International Magazine* calls the “dreaded AppNapp :(  review” most developers fear. Why? Because many developers work hard on their applications and it’d be mean to tell them how shitty it is. Sure, it’d be truthful, but it’d also be mean.

 

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Fake Call

 

If you’ve ever seen me at a party, you know how unbearably awkward it is for me in social situations. I scream like a girl when people are talking mid-sentence. I can’t hug a beautiful girl without getting aroused. And I drool constantly…only because my teeth are too big for my mouth.
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Oh Snap!

 

Not only am I nerd regarding “all things app” related (hell, all things iPhone related), I’m also into conspiracy theories. And who isn’t?! I frequent ATS each morning in hopes that one TRUE UFO video will appear. That said, being into conspiracies can make one a little paranoid.

 

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Snatch*

*insert Butthead laugh.

 

Have you ever seen a family member use a computer mouse for the 1st time? Where they knock all your favorite Family Guy toys off your desk? Or maybe spill that cup of coffee you just poured over all those papers you just printed for tomorrow’s big presentation at the cheese factory?

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Attention Developers!

If you have created an iPhone Application and would like me to review it, please send me an email. I’ll gladly buy your App and give it a review. The ONLY expense you’ll pay is my honest review :) . (Or, if you’d like for me to give you personal feedback via private emails, I will be glad to do so as well). I downloaded the SDK myself, in hopes of developing the App of my dreams and it all went down the crapper. I understand how hard programming can be so I’ll be nice.

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